Put your dictionaries away folks, it’s not that kind of service.
Come Closer
Come closer she mimes; if I am to be yours
And you are to be mine
Come closer she says if all you see is differences
Come closer to see the goddess in me
If he is too queer to draw him near
Come closer dear friend where all can mend
There is always a boy inside of a man
All you need to do is come closer if you can.
At 15 I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – The Mormons
I was welcomed and loved and valued. Well, until I decided I would like to pursue a romantic relationship with a woman. The acceptance I once felt did not extend that far. I had crossed the boundaries. I was granted excommunication.
Tikkun Olam
I loved that religion, there was a comfort there. I searched for a spiritual replacement. I even went to a “Gay†church. I wanted to belong somewhere. So since I ran full speed and did a cannon ball into the lesbian pool, I thought “how about that gay church.â€Â I went but did not feel comfortable. I thought they were playing church, the way children play house. It seemed as though they were pretending and they were fake. Fake church members, and fake families. After all, real families
Are a mom a dad a kid and a dog.
Not a mom, mom, kid and a bird.
Or dad, dad, kid and cat.
Tikkun Olam
So I searched….
Finally, my boots ended up at the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg.
Prior to becoming a member of the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg, I was a big mean cop in the capital city. Now…after the gentle caresses of the Unitarian church, I’m not as mean.
At first I thought…Oh these poor people, they need protection. They are too nice and they don’t have a clue. It was good I got to them just in the nick of time.
Shortly after I rode into the Unitarian church on my black stallion to save them, there was the annual gay pride festival at the river front. So as an extra duty assignment, I worked it. I got $25 an hour to stand around in my uniform and hang out with my Peeps.
Alanna Berger and her Silent Witnesses were there. They wielded their rainbow umbrellas and shielded the festival participants from the protestors. The protestors were simply, in my most humble opinion, only people who hide behind a cross to give them cart blanche to hate and spew their vile ignorance to harm and to hurt. I stayed close to the Silent Witnesses that day. After all, they were my wards to protect. My heart became gripped by the sharp and pointed remarks of the protestors. I mistakenly engaged with them. The Silent Witnesses gently brought me back.
At some point I asked Alanna: Why do you do this? Fully expecting to hear that she is the mother of a gay or lesbian child and that her mother bear instincts are strong. Her response was: I’m Jewish.
I promptly looked at her as though she had two heads and slack-jawed said: “Huh?â€
Tikkun Olam – Repair the World
She patiently helped me begin to realize the deeply embedded sense of justice and equality that was practically, genetically, a part of her soul.
(silent nod)
She came closer. She defended me because I am a lesbian. But even more generously, she looked deep in my soul and loved me, knowing that I defy description, need no classification or label, I was Tammy Adams, part of her people and belonged in her heart and she was my people and belonged in my heart.
Tikkun Olam
When I went to church the next time, my role had drastically changed. Yes, I will protect the Unitarians. They are my people. But, much more often they protect me. I have fire power: a .45, an M16, a shotgun; they have real power. Power of acceptance; power of the heart.
Tikkun Olam
Being a cop is terrible for the human spirit. Callousness and degrading humor are often traits developed to shield one from the horrors that are commonplace and far too frequent in a police officer’s daily life.
So it should be no surprise to hear the story of a very young, very drunk, very flamboyant, Transvestite boy who called the police on New Years Day.
He had cut his wrists with a sharp instrument used in cutting fabric but looked like a pizza cutter.
He made dresses for drag shows.
He was obnoxious
He was tearful
He was disgusting
There were 4 police officers there and numerous ambulance personnel. He was wasting everybody’s time. Their impatience was palpable, their intolerance came bursting through in waves. The boy endured barrages of chides, insults and abuse.
His walls were high and his defenses strong. He was not new to this game.
Though no one made a move to repair his bleeding limb, he was urged to hurry up and get his shoes and coat on so we could go.
His boots laced to his knees.
I knelt and my head near his legs, took his big foot and placed it in his big boot.
I held his calf and said: “let me do it honey.â€
The walls and defenses came crashing down. The little child appeared before me, cute and sweet, precocious and needy. His little child, exactly the same as mine.
Tikkun Olam
A welcoming congregation is it to be? – The very concept seems a little fantastic. People of faith who choose to become more closely identified with sexual minorities: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people. A faith community who wants to understand us more so we can feel more comfortable in their midst?  Imagine it.
What if there were a welcoming community for me in 1969? I am a 14 year old boy living away from home at a high school seminary. I am more and more aware that these feelings I’m having; these attractions to my male classmates are not just some passing fluke of some sort. I am terrified. It was one thing to act like the teasing and name calling during elementary and middle school really didn’t bother me. I’ve made it past all that. Or at least I tell myself I have. No, this is very different. This isn’t just about not being boy enough; this is some kind of illness. I think I’m having some kind of breakdown. Who can I talk to about this? I will see Father O’Bryan in confession. He’ll know what I should do.
What if there were a welcoming community in 1969?
What if there were a welcoming community for me in 1974? I am 19 years old and a sophomore in college and although I have tried to convince myself these attractions are no big deal, I realize I’m not better. In fact, I think its getting worse. Confessing these feelings has had no effect, my prayer and Eucharist haven’t made a dent in it. I really need to get some serious help. I’m going to speak with the university’s psychologist.
“So let me get this straight, you’re telling me you like looking at guys?†“Do feel you desire intimacy with them?â€
Well, I haven’t really thought that far, I guess the answer would be yes.
Well Chris, I understand there’s been some real promise in the treatment of homosexuality. We could look into an intervention for you; it’s called aversion therapy.
Really? What do they do?
What if there were a welcoming community in 1974?
What if there were a welcoming community for me in 1979? I am 24 years old and I am in Engaged Encounter with my fiance’. Who am I? I see these other men here and I realize I enjoy their physical beauty. I’m not any better. NO! No! There is no other option. I know what life God wants me to lead. “The will of God will not lead you, where the grace of God will not keep you.†We’ll be all right. This is good, this is good.
What if there were a welcoming community in 1979?
What if there were a welcoming community for me in 1987? I am 32 years old, I have a 7 year old daughter, I am divorced and living with my partner now for 4 years. With my attorney on the phone:
What do the papers say Chris?
It says I am to appear in court she is challenging my custody and visitation.
Did you speak with her?
Yes, she says she feels she is doing wrong by our daughter by exposing her to my lifestyle.
Oh, I see. I am sorry Chris, I’m afraid I don’t have good news for you. Taking this to court will only make things worse for you. All she needs to do is play the homosexual card and you could lose everything. You have got to find a way to resolve this outside of court. You have no allies in the courthouse in Charlottesville, Va.
What if there were a welcoming community in 1987?
Well, it’s not 1987 and the fact of the matter is I realize where I’ve been has everything to do with where I am today. In the words of Maya Angelou, “I wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey now.â€
No it’s not 1987 and I wish I could say that the experiences I had in the 70s and 80s are simply memories from the collective LGBT history. But I am afraid it is not so. Would I have a better chance in the courtroom in Charlottesville today? Yes I believe I would. In so many ways we are better off. But what is lacking in our culture that makes it possible for young men and boys to believe there is no welcoming community for them?
Where were the welcoming congregations for
Tyler Clementi who, at age 18, jumped from the George Washington Bridge in New York City.
For Seth Walsh who hanged himself from a tree in his own back yard, at 13.
For Asher Brown age 13 shot himself,For Nick Kelo, age 13 shot himself,Raymond Chase age 19 hanged himself,Justin Aaberg age 15 hanged himself,
Billy Lucas age 15 hanged himself.
In all of these cases there was no welcome for who they were, rather they were met with hatred and judgment and in some cases simply because they were perceived to be gay. The torment experienced by these boys led them to the conclusion that life had no value for them; and now they are gone from us. Imagine all that we’ve lost along with them.
No, it’s not 1987 and all we ever have is now. Now we need welcoming communities who believe so fully in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. I mean every person. That through our membership in this faith community we cannot tolerate the loss of Billy Lucas and Nick Kelo. That we will become their voice and stand against school bullying. That we will speak with sincere conviction on behalf Asher Brown and Tyler Clementi when anti-lgbt legislation is on the agenda in our local, state, or federal government. And one day for Seth Walsh, Raymond Chase and Justin Aaberg we will value our gay and lesbian couples and see their relationships clearly so that nothing would deny them the full rights and privileges marriage.
Song
A welcoming congregation can’t be about completing the required steps so you get your nice rainbow banner. A welcoming congregation is life saving and life altering for people like Nick Kelo & Billy Lucas;  For Susan Liebman & Christine Walker who were murdered on the Appalachian Trail. For the LGBT members of this congregation; AND it’s for us too, Chris Gatesman & Tammy Adams.  It about walking along with us, rolling up your sleeves and doing the work we all must do if we are to create a welcoming world.
Tikkun Olam
Thank you for welcoming us to your congregation. It really feels good here. But what makes the LGBT community feel most welcomed are the actions taken by our friends and allies. It’s knowing we can count on you to interrupt the injustices that persist. That we are no longer the only ones standing with our signs at protests and confronting our legislators. That we are not alone. So you have a decision to make: Is becoming a welcoming congregation about hospitality or is it a call to action?
Tikkun Olam – Repair the World