by J. Barkley Rosser, Jr.
January 21, 2018

1) This talk follows and extends a talk given about a decade ago at HUU by Ed Piper, then the minister at Waynesboro UU. While I disagreed with some of what he said, I agreed with his main points. Numerous studies of this subject agree that the most important contributors to happiness and life satisfaction are good family and friend relations, health, and employment for those of working age who wish to work. Things that can make one unhappy are sharp declines of those: death of spouse or child or close friend, sudden sharp decline in health, involuntary loss of a job, along with such other things as being in a dangerous war zone, in an epidemic zone, being in a severely oppressed group, and being arrested and put in jail.

2) While they are closely correlated (on the order of 85%), happiness and life satisfaction are not identical. The former seems to be tied more to momentary states of mind or being, while the latter involves looking over a longer time horizon of one’s life. Something that tends to differ for them, and this was a topic on which Ed Piper and I differed, involves income and wealth. These do not seem to matter too much for moment to moment happiness, but more so for life satisfaction as does professional success and social status. Regarding income and life satisfaction, there remains a positive relation as income rises, although it weakens as income rises. However, it is not true that the relation ends once one reaches a level of $70,000 per year as Ed claimed and which I have seen repeated even recently on the internet and some media. The relation continues, but steadily weakens.

3) We need to talk about the data on which these erstwhile findings are based, some of them controversial and debated. Basically they come from asking people how happy or satisfied with their lives they are, usually on a 1-10 point scale, although sometimes on a 1-5 point scale. These studies have now been going on since World War II in an increasing number of countries with a wide variety of specific forms for the studies. Summaries of much of these have been gathered in Rotterdam by the sociologist, Ruut Veenhoven, and reports of country comparisons of happiness usually come from there, with Denmark and Costa Rica currently contesting for being the world’s supposedly happiest nation (from here on we shall use happiness and life satisfaction interchangeably for convenience). The UN reports on Happiness of Nations, but has a complicated way of measuring it with Nordic nations and Switzerland on top. Finland is fifth on their list, even though it is 16^th in suicide rates in the world. Which brings us to the fact that cross country comparisons are difficult to make because of cultural differences. Americans are supposedly happier than the French, but we have a higher suicide rate. In France one tends to look down on “being happy.” One is proud of having existentialist angst as one consumes good French food and wine at the nice café on the street, while Americans are happy to brag about being happy. The most reliable data are for individual people over time. We should also recognize that many simply do not accept people answering such surveys as meaning much, and this is the attitude of many hard-nosed economists who say that all that matters is what people do, not what they say.  [Read more…]

December 24, 2017
by Merle Wenger

Today, I find ample reason to celebrate
the first days of winter
the last weeks of the year, the increase of sunlight
for Hannukah and Kwanza, Feliz Navidad, a very old story
the birth of a king, to whom many sing
a virgin birth no less, that neither implies sterility or inability
but certainly emphasizes the aspect of fertility
which would have pleased the country folk long ago
whose pagan rituals sanctified birth’s mystery
a conjuring of the irrational we might defy:
they blessed the four directions, the web of diversity
life depended on relating to animals, the toil of the soil
the constellations of the heavens were like lanterns in the dark.

There’s been a tendency of late you see
with endless dazzling scientific discovery
to downplay mystery as fodder for simple folk
for once we understand meiosis and mitosis
the replication of RNA, the creation of a baby’s DNA
genetic codes that turn us dull or bright,
why should we take our eye from off the microscope–
to ponder unexplained realities
the fickleness of candy canes and tinseled trees,
possessed as we are with self-driving cars,
intoxicated by nano-second timeliness
with formulaic answers for the birds and the bees
right here in our palms, our i-phones or our pads
as if you have the power of a god at your fingertips–
we keep our eyes glued to facts that Google knows:
oodles of answers to everyday tasks
how to change your brake shoes, make homemade bombs;
Why would one pause to raise their eyes to the sky
to ponder a curiously extra bright star,
that might draw well-disciplined minds afar;
this metaphor for holy quests drew wise men as manger guests
like Don Quixote or Elon Musk, imaginations taking off–
some follow uncharted dreams that others scoff.

But viewing the virgin birth as metaphor
As myth that fulfills a sacred text from time before
A long-awaited messiah arrives on the doorstep of a new millennium
Not from distant lands like many virgin births of lore
Where Greek Gods gave birth in distant skies–
“No,” right here on earth among the common folk
Born in a barn where livestock loaf,
Destined to lead throngs seeking change:
He taught mankind to lay down arms
Use brain over brawn
Defy the old, eye for an eye,
Lay up your swords, share your coat
Search your own eye for fault or mote
For divinity is found within—reflects practiced humility
Not in burning bush or faked piety.

Yes, Jesu Christi, like divinities before
Krishna, Buddha, Mithra, Horus and Dionysius
All sages born sans sexual intercourse,
Elevates these teachers to ethereal realms
Disconnects from human drudgery and sensuality
Links humanity to mystery, a medicine for the soul
Truths invisible to microscope or telescope:
For those with neither books or photographs
Created classic epic stories and wisdom tracts
Poetic interpretation of pre-scientific comprehension.

But should you meet a postulate
Whose faith base is more literal
This is perhaps the season to pass it by
For who am I to assess another’s sacredness?
Instead, remember how oft we all suspend reality
Dress up for Halloween as witch or ghost
Wear silly togs to cheer our favorite team
When Duke Dog comes along he brings applause
Or when you play your favorite video game
And literalism is tossed as if some foreign meme;
Consider Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck
Big Bird, Winnie the Pooh, Homer Simpson down on his luck
A Lion King where jungle friends teach wise tales
We sit entranced as talking animals prevail;
To defy symbolism and metaphor
You must forgo all theatre, bid adieu to Streep and Olivier
Turn off the television–give up your addiction to fiction
Send daily comic strips straight to the litter box
Perhaps take off your smile as well–
And tell the world to go to hell.

In the spirit of the holiday I say raise glasses high
to holidays and holy ways
the sanctified celebrations of eons past
Even less dignified Amazon grins and Walmart ads
for Santa Claus and yule logs, to holiday tunes by barking dogs
May Kwanza fill your heart with Joy,
Hannukah dazzle your days with light,
when Jesus’ birthday pales, let New Year’s ale
fortify your body with seasoned bliss,

We’ve made it through this year, there’s much amiss,
yet for today, for most of us, there’s peace on earth,
and I for one hope for some seeming miracle:
reality, in fact, has become a bit too real.
For me, it’s quite alright to celebrate the turning of the sun
With polyester artificial Christmas trees
Or virgin births of revered deities.

On Sunday, October 8th we celebrated membership in HUU and welcomed new members who have joined our congregation in recent months. Three of the readings that were included as part of the service are listed below. All are in pdf format.

Sense Making

Caregiving

Justice Seeking

By Linda Dove
September 3, 2017

Have you too experienced that uncomfortable feeling when you are new to a group and someone forgets to introduce you? For me, that is not affirming. It feels like a put-down. Naming is powerful, isn’t it? And not naming is just as powerful.

Today I name White Privilege in the context of White Supremacy. I will talk briefly about this in the context of our country’s recent upheavals. Charlottesville is the example close to home where the ALT-right, the KKK, the neo-Nazi terrorists and sympathizers proclaimed their hateful truths and named the statue of a slave-owning Confederate leader as a symbol of their “free speech” right to preach evil.

Eve Ensler, in an interview on This I Believe, makes my point in a quite other context. Eve is a performer and the feminist author of the Vagina Monologues. She wrote:

I believe in the power and mystery of naming things. Language has the capacity to transform our cells, rearrange our learned patterns of behavior and redirect our thinking. I believe in naming what’s right in front of us because that is often what is most invisible.

As a country, after decades of near silence, we are yet again at a threshold in openly naming racist acts and speech. Good. Let’s see Charlottesville, tragic though it was, as a fresh start in Identifying and defeating racist terrorism.

First, though, I want to share with you a little of my own evolution in this context.  [Read more…]

The service on July 23, 2017 was called “Players and Bridges” and was presented by Merle Wenger, Rachael Baczynski, and the Chalice Children. It was an excellent and FUN service with singing and dancing. Part of each Sunday service is the reading of A Story for all Ages. As we entered, each person was given a card with “Write Your Own Story for all Ages” as the title.  Each card contained the following:

Once upon a time, there was a _____________________________
Everyday, ___________________________________________
One day. ____________________________________________
Because of that, _______________________________________
Because of that, _______________________________________
Until finally, _________________________________________

It was up to each person to finish the story and share it as part of the service. Assembled for your reading pleasure.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. Everyday, she ran and leaped and spun around. One day, her grandmother made her a tutu. Because of that, she started ballet lessons Because of that she danced like a mouse and a cat and clown and a rooster. Until finally, she got the part of a swan and became an enchanted princess. ~Joni Grady~

Once upon a time, there was a puppy. Everyday, the puppy sniffed the flowers. One day, a bee stung his nose. Because of that he was afraid of flowers. Because of that he barked at pansies. Until finally, the pansies barked back.

Once upon a time, there was an egg. Everyday, the egg’s mother kept it warm. One day, the mother felt the egg move. Because of that, she called the egg’s father. Because of that they watched and waited. Until finally, the egg broke open and a beautiful baby dragon emerged.

Once upon a time, there were some cows. Everyday, the pooped in the river beside their fields. One day, the farmer who owned them built a fence. Because of that, they could no longer poop in the river. Because of that, the river got cleaner and cleaner. Until finally, all of the kids could go swimming and tubing without getting sick. ~Les Grady~

Once upon a time, there was a smile. Everyday, it looked for a face to adorn. One day, it found me. Because of that, other people smiled back. Because of that more people smiled. Until finally, the whole world was smiling ~Barbara Moore~

Once upon a time, there was a peacock. Everyday, it would spread its tail. One day, visitors came from half a world away to see it. Because of that, its hometown became famous. Because of that the peacock stopped spreading its tail. Until finally, the peacock moved to the deep forest where it could its beautiful tail in peace. ~Chris Edwards ~

Once upon a time, there was a young boy. Everyday, he passed a polluted stream. One day he notices a ???? bird by the stream covered with oil.Because of that, he asked his parents what he could do about it. Because of that, they told him to study the problem. Until finally, he became a dedicted environmentalist working for a cleaner planet. ~Robin McNallie~

Once upon there was a star, Everyday, the star glowed bright, One day, the star got bigger. Because of that, it could see new stars. Because of that it grew big enough to cover other stars. Until finally, it could hug all the stars.

by Joni Grady
October 16, 2016

By now I hope old members have had their hearts filled with memories of past challenges and accomplishments and newer ones have had their interest piqued by these same glimpses into the distant and recent past. While I was here that May day in 2011 when the 20^th anniversary was celebrated, I don’t remember much about it so it’s been VERY interesting to dig back into HUU history. I thought to look at our wonderful webpage and it was like finding a buried treasure. How many of you have actually read everything there? How many of you have read at least the section “About Us?” I think (hope) maybe it wasn’t there when we were exploring the idea of moving here because it would have been enormously helpful. I do heartily recommend its study for anyone thinking of joining HUU because it explains a lot about the beautiful tree we call HUU and why we are the way we are at this moment in time. Think about this: probably one of the youngest charter members, or planters, was Barkley Rosser, who joined particularly because he wanted a liberal religious education for his daughter. Barkley was about 43 years old at that time and there were several others in their forties, the Stricklers and Elizabeth Ihle, for instance, who are still here, and some who have moved on to other places. What an adventurous experiment they embarked on! A new variety of UUism, even if they couldn’t decide whether the seed they had planted would turn out to be a mighty oak or a sturdy apple tree. A clean slate, with only the preconceived ideas about church and religion they each brought with them from their own past lives—plus the UU principles. They could and did do anything, try anything that would grow the congregation and the voice of UUism in the Upper Valley. They could and did build a whole RE building, hire ministers, fire ministers, and become a de facto and then official UU Welcoming Congregation. We’ve told you a bit about the roots of HUU and you can read more online

Now, at the risk of extending a metaphor WAY past its natural lifespan, I want to change perspective just a little. Linda Dove has just told us what she found when she walked in through those very real front doors and her experience mirrors mine. But if HUU itself is a virtual tree, a tree of life, a tree of spirit and love, planted all those years ago, how do our visitors and new members, fit in now, what do we find when we fly in on our virtual wings? At first they only see this very real old schoolhouse, and maybe the real but younger RE building, embedded solidly in the sturdy trunk. If they’ve been UUs before, they’re probably not surprised by what they see inside but do they all understand the symbols? Certainly the coffee pots under the “Community Café” might express hospitality and a warm welcome even before our visitor hosts and we ourselves make that explicit—and that’s good. The flowers and then the music immediately let us know our souls are fed by more than cold logic and reason, and the flaming chalice is soon revealed to be the light our lives are guided by. In fact, at their very best, our services as a whole feed the entire person, body and soul, (especially if there’s a potluck afterwards.)

What don’t visitors and even new members see? They can’t see that the virtual HUU tree is filled with nests, each with a different design and purpose, but each sheltered by the outstretched branches that grow around them and make room as more room is needed. Who built them? Who inhabits them? Why are they here? These nests are built by us. Each one of us, old and new, young and old, has the freedom and responsibility in this free UU church to try out an old nest, refurbish it as needed, or create a new one. And we are all needed to inhabit them at different times during the days, the weeks, the months, the years of the church life. They exist to make this beloved community possible and able to fulfill our mission in the world, and they are each microcosms of the larger community, bound by the same covenant that holds us together as a whole. There’s the board-nest, up in the highest branch, charged with oversight and planning, the communications nerve-nest that is scattered but held together electronically, the caring nest that is lined with soft downy feathers from each of us and moves wherever it is needed most, and the worship nest that perches precariously at times, always hoping to produce golden eggs for the pulpit nest but needing the creative energy of the whole congregation to maintain the balance between heart, mind, and hands, between care-giving, sense-making, and justice- seeking. 

[Read more…]

September 18, 2016
By Linda A. Dove

Today we are going to think about our collective purpose as humans and as UUs in the tough circumstances of our shared life in the 21st. century. Most of the time we focus on our own life-paths. I certainly do. And I am grateful for my life. But every few years, I feel restless. This is my intuition nagging me to refresh my sense of purpose towards a meaning that expands beyond myself.

I am not talking about fate here. Fate is when things are out of our control—or in the hands of the gods. Destiny is when we choose to make our lives meaningful. Emerson put it in a nutshell: The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

In my experience, there are three stages in life when we feel the need to radically redirect our paths. You could describe them as youth, middle-age and elderhood. But, really, the stages vary in timing for each person. Some young people are old souls wise beyond their years. Some mid-life people behave like goofy kids. Some old folk, sadly, wonder whether their lives have had any meaning at all.

So, in life’s first stage, we begin to forge our destinies as persons. Let me share a little of my experience here. As a child I felt alone. But now I see this helped me think for myself and set my own goals early on. I made my first conscious decision to forge a purpose for myself when I was 12 years old in high school. I decided to focus on being a nerd—the pinnacle of ambition in my world at the time.

[Read more…]