Words for Bernie

May 6, 2012
by David Lane

Here is Bernie in her own words reflecting on a challenging moment at Harrisonburg Unitarian Universalists:

I was organizing the children of the congregation to participate in a fairly traditional Christmas pageant, recruiting angels and shepherds and wise men.  When asked which part he’d like, Jordan replied, “I want to be God.”  In my frazzled state, with dyed pillowcases to be made into costumes at my side, I replied, “There is no God in this story.”

Our RE Director raised her eyebrows at me, so I added, “Of course, God is part of the story, but there is no costume for God.”  Jordan grabbed a piece of cloth, threw it over his shoulder like a Greek God, and said, “Here’s my costume.”

Eventually Jordan settled for being a shepherd and a wise man, but he reminded me that UU’s, even our children, will rightfully question my assumptions.  He also reminded me that God is a part of our stories.  And the manger scene with the traditional animals along with a pig, a duck, and a bee brought home the message that “All God’s Critters Got a Place in the Choir.”

This is indeed the Bernie I came to know over the last seven years.  Not so much “frazzled” as fully and continuously invested in building in our very midst, Beloved Community.

“Fully and continuously invested” – I have known few (if any) in my lifetime that I can honestly say that about.  But how did she do it?  Family, friends, the Free Clinic, and just about a 24/7 commitment to her faith community!

Indeed, for just that one Christmas pageant, where did she find time and energy (even as a collaborator) to

• Make the costumes
• Revise the script
• Locate the props
• Rehearse the children
• And then stage manage the actual performance?

And that was only one of many, many other HUU commitments.  What about the others before and after that pageant?  Where did she find space in her life to

• Facilitate services
• Pitch hit at the piano
• Chair a committee
• Organize concerts
• Host circle dinners
• Visit the sick
• Welcome visitors
• Develop agendas
• Recruit volunteers
• And offer again and again her presence, her listening ear, her willingness to encourage, contribute, and support?

And of course there was even more than this.  The congregation’s 20th Anniversary Celebration, its Shared Ministry Team, and its Guest Minister Program: all resulted in large part from her vision, leadership, or on-going collaboration.

But this was only half the story.  And maybe the least interesting part.  “Behind the curtain,” so to speak, was an even more interesting story.

Not what she did or how she found the time to do it (I think I’ll never figure that out).  But why she did it.

In fact, Bernie never told me why.

We never talked theology.  She never shared with me her motives or her deepest convictions.  But did she need to?

Actions speak.  And her actions over the last seven years spoke eloquently for her, again and again.

Here is what I heard them say:

• They said that every person’s journey is worthy and needs support.  “All God’s critters” really do have “a place in the choir.”
• They said too that community is not an abstraction.  It exists in and for the lives we live together and the work we do together.
• And they said finally that when we connect in community, we open ourselves to growth and change, to discovering better selves and the better world those selves can build.

That’s what I heard her actions say again and again as she went about the demanding, time-consuming business of religious community: including everyone she could, making connections between them, demonstrating where those connections could lead.

As I see it now, those connections lead well beyond the Old Dale Enterprise School House where HUU meets each Sunday.  They lead from Houston to Harrisonburg and beyond.

In fact they lead to this very place and time.  Each one of us shares a connection to Bernie and through her to each other.  And each of us has been changed in some way by that connection.  If it were not so, we would not be here.

Taken together, those connections and changes form a landscape of the heart, a Beloved Community of meaning, purpose, and mutual support.  That is the community that true religion teaches us to seek, and that is the community Bernie labored to create.

Now, for just a moment, join me in silent reflection, mediation, or prayer.

•  Focus inward, where thoughts and feelings merge, where ideas are felt and emotions understood.
•  There, deep within your heart of hearts, your truest self, there let silence speak to you.
•  Let it say again how your life is linked to all creation – how the many lives around you affirm and support and enable your own.
•  And let it say again her name, whose life we celebrate today.  A life that in ways small or great, momentary or lasting, has touched or challenged or enriched your life.
•  In this landscape of the heart where all of us are linked together, listen for that name and bless it silently.

Peace.  Shalom.  Blessed Be.  Amen.